It’s time! I have decided!!! Time to see what’s happening outside this warm, cozy, dark and noisy space. I mean, I could stay here forever…but I feel like this space is getting smaller by the day. I don’t know why, but it sure feels like it is. Is that even possible? I think I’d also like to move around and unbend parts of myself that to date have always been bent.

How long have I been here anyway? No idea. Not even sure I know what that question means.

Okay…how do I get out of here?

I think I need to push here…use this part of me…I think it’s called an “arm.” PUSH… Nope. That’s not it. I think all that did was make HER turn over.

Maybe I need to use this other part…the one that’s longer. Wait, I have two of them…”legs,” that’s the word. PUSHHHH.

Nope, that’s not doing it either. Sure made HER move though.

Okay. Let me use this big round thing…my “head” is it? Let me use that to push. Can I push with it? Or just bump whatever it is that’s holding me in? I can push with it! I think all of me is helping it push!

Oh hey…what was that? Feels like SHE is rolling around now. That always makes me feel a little sick.

I think SHE’s really moving now, not lying down anymore. Yup, definitely moving. I like it when SHE does that. I don’t know how I know my home is a “she.” I just do. Kinda like I know I’m a she – I just do. Whatever being a “she” means… Guess I’ll find out one day – I sure hope I do anyway.

I’m feeling a little too warm now. Did SHE wrap us up?

Brrrrrr…now I feel like I was hit by a cold wind! What was that? Did we leave what SHE calls her home?

Okay…settling down again. Mmmmmm I like this soft, rolling movement. If I’m not careful it will lull me back to sleep. Use your head. PUSSHHHH!!! Was that a cry I heard? Is this hurting HER? I’m sorry. I don’t want to hurt YOU, but I do want to get out of here. I’ve heard YOU talk about it for so long, and about life out there, and I really want to see it!

We are up and moving again. Strange though, because I kinda feel like I’m being pulled downwards. Does that even make sense? We’re up, and yet I feel like as I push, I’m being pulled down.

Oops…we are sitting again. That’s making it harder for me to push out of here. I feel like we are rolling. And there are soooo many voices now, loud voices. Who are these voices? I only recognise HER and HIM. I don’t know these other people. They seem to be telling her what to do. One more push and I’ll rest and listen to what they are saying. I hear the strangest things sometimes.


Oooohhhh, that was a good one! And SHE’s settling down again, that helps. Let me try that again.


I think I’m getting somewhere now! Wait. What are they saying?

Don’t push Mme. Carrière. Don’t push! The doctor isn’t here yet!

Who is this woman trying to tell HER what to do? Wait, SHE is speaking…

I’m not pushing! But this baby has a mind of its own.

HAHAHA! Thanks! Thank you for knowing I’m in charge! That made me so happy. Now I’m even more excited to get out of here.


Wow…that’s a new sensation. It’s not quite so dark anymore. Wait…

Wait…Am I sure I want to leave here? It really is warm and cozy and I feel so safe and loved.

Oops…I’m just sliding now. I barely need to push anymore. Actually, I don’t think I’m really pushing, I’m just moving. I guess there’s no stopping this now!

Now who’s that? That voice is new, and it’s quite low…but it’s not HIM. What’s he saying?

Bonjour Mme. Carrière. It’s a girl.


What is THAT noise? Is that coming out of me?

It’s so bright out here. I had no idea.

Oh – now I can stretch my arms and my legs. What fun! That feels nice.

No no…don’t wrap me up tight…I was still stretching…It is comfy and soft though, so maybe it’s not so bad.

Weird! It’s like I’ve just moved through air.

Aaaahhhh, there SHE is! Even if I’m now outside of HER, I know it’s HER. I recognise how SHE smells and feels. I hope SHE’s happy with me. I feel like SHE is. I really want to open my eyes and see if SHE’s as beautiful as I’ve imagined all this time. But I’m so sleepy now…I’m not sure I can.

Maybe just a little peek. I can do that.

SHE looks like an angel!

And HE’S here too now! I like this. It’s feels so good. I’m happy I did this.

I can’t help it…I’m falling asleep. What did they say? It’s 8:00am? I have no idea what that means….Later. I’ll figure it out later…


Note: Years ago my mum told me there was a physical attribute to all her children’s births that she could tie to their personalities. I asked her what mine was. This was her answer.

You woke me up at 5:00 in the morning. We went to the hospital right away, and the nurses were all telling me not to push. I told them I wasn’t pushing, but that this baby had a mind of its own. It was funny because the doctor was short, and barely taller than the bed I was on. He came running into the delivery room and said, “Bonjour Mme. Carrière. It’s a girl.” He made it just in time.

So…when you decide you are going to do something, get out of your way.

I love that story. Even though I’d kinda liked her to have softened it a little. Not so much like I’m going to bulldoze over you. Am I determined? Yes. I won’t push you out of my way though 🙂

For years my mum would call me on my birthday saying she had almost called me at 5:00am to wake me up, just like I did her. She never went through with that threat though.

Love and miss you mum!

Mum and me in Dublin, when my brother Y and I took her to Ireland. Priceless.