Introducing…Sammy The Wooden Spoon

This week I feel the need for a little levity. So here’s another dabble at some creative writing. I had a lot of fun writing this one.

I hope you enjoy!

Ooohhhh is she reaching for me? Yes…I think she is…

Wait…

No…

Not me…

She went for the spatula again. Ugh. Why the spatula? I can mix those scones just as well as the spatula can. Even if I am made of wood and not rubber.

I may be crazy, but I think there’s just no replacement for a wooden spoon, and I’m so happy that’s what I am.

I love it when I am called upon to soften butter – even cold butter is no match for me! My favourite though, is when I get to mix chocolate chip cookies. The creamy batter and the nuggets of chocolate are a joy to swirl around. Chocolate chip cookies are also a guarantee that I’ll get tickled by the kids in the house as they lick the batter off me. One of these days I am going to laugh so hard I’ll split, I’m just sure of it!

Every now and again I get to take a bath in a pot of hot soup or sauce. I especially like that when it’s cold outside. The days where curry or chili is on the menu, I bask in the spices and and hope that I get to lounge in their warmth for a while. I always feel like I have had a spa treatment on those occasions. Although, I could do without the turmeric and how it turns my natural wood tones yellow.

There are a few of us wooden spoons in the kitchen and I like that. When I wake up from my recurring nightmare of being used to spank a naughty child and breaking in two, they understand and can calm me down. We aren’t sure this ever really happens, or even where we heard about it, but we know it’s not something we ever want to experience. We would all much prefer to remain here and in use until we’re just too tired to work again.

It’s bad enough we get thrown into the dishwasher and have to put up with hot water forcefully splashing all around us, almost to the point of drowning. I can’t begin to imagine how much splitting in two after whacking someone would hurt. I much prefer it when she decides to gently wash me with in the kitchen sink with her hands and the washcloth. A bath, a massage and a warm cloth. Now that just feels good.

Hmmmm. As I lay here and wait for her to call upon me again, I’ll just think of that – a bath, massage and warm cloth.